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How To Be A ‘Fat Cat’, While Catching No Mice.

The following post was written Sept. 18th 2005, but I think it’s worth pushing to the front again given the latest stock market convulsions. I think I’ll add a few bits to it as I go along.

“TigerTom’s guide to succeeding in a PLC, without actually making any money:

  • Downsize the workforce (fire people);
  • Mergers and acquisitions;
  • Rebrand the company (logo change);
  • Re-organise;
  • Outsource everything;
  • Apply the latest management theory, whether it’s suitable or not (‘internal markets’, anyone?);
  • Sell your shares and hop to another job before the company goes t*ts-up.

The first duty of any company is to _make a fat net profit_. None of the above accomplish this, but they look good to Wall St.

Run through them three times in your ‘career’, then you’re old enough to retire!”

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Capitalism is a shared belief system. I’ll accept that piece of paper from you for my good or service because I believe it has negotiable value. Crashes happen when the faithful stop believing. Last man out is left holding the baby.