Ditsy Female Celebrities – Some Common Features

Modern female celebrities have some features in common.

To see just how similar they are, do the following:

1. Go to

2. Scroll down to SafeSearch Filtering and tick ‘Do not filter my search results’.

3. Now we can have some fun! Mix and match the following:

I propose that the more a female celebrity is in the tabloids, the less likely she is to be working in her ostensible career. Cue ‘Tell All’ books and interviews to pay the rent. We all participate in this gossip-fuelled inanity.

Female Celebrity Checklist:

  • Bleached hair;
  • Panda mascara;
  • Huge hoop earrings;
  • Courts media;
  • Tattooed boyfriend;
  • Drug addict boyfriend;
  • Tattooed, drug addict boyfriend;
  • Checks into rehab;
  • Checks into jail;
  • Tattooed, drug addict boyfriend checks into rehab;
  • Tattooed, drug addict boyfriend checks into jail;
  • Gets new boyfriend;
  • Tries career-switch to music, movies or fashion, and fails horribly;
  • Falls out of cars/nightclubs;
  • Falls out of her brassiere;
  • Spits at media;
  • Media moves on;
  • Career stalls;
  • ‘Tells all’ to media.

Now, I like female celebrity gossip. It takes my mind off my own worries. It can give good lessons about the perils of self-indulgence.

What’s offputting is female and homosexual journalists relentlessly laying into these women. It’s a fact that a lot of journos are drug addicted sex-fiends themselves. How would any of them stand up to the criticism they dish out? What would these ‘concerned’ tattle columnists do without these divas to write about? It fills blank pages, and sells a lot of advertising.