Welcome to Chavistan

Let me tell you about Chavistan, and you can see whether you’d like to live there:

1. The head of state is hereditary and unelected;

2. It has no written constitution; its parliament can make whatever laws it likes;

3. Elections are decided on a small number of votes in certain districts;

4. Overall taxation is about 60% of income;

5. National decisions are made by an inner circle of government; parliament is largely an impotent talking-shop;

6. The lower classes are uneducated; illiteracy and innumeracy are common;

7. Its hospitals are likely to make you ill;

8. Its people view drugs as a central part of recreation;

9. Its young are wont to carry knives as a matter of course.

10. Its schools are more reformatories than centres of education; assaults on teachers are common.

Want to come for a visit? Contact your nearest British embassy.